As the days pass, I notice more and more often that rarely in life to things work out as you hope, do things turn out as they seem they will in the beginning, that more often than not there are more disappointments than triumphs. Yet, I also realize that within these struggles, let downs, and such; there are lessons waiting there to be learned. It has been that last simple truth that has kept me fighting my way through with hope rather than defeat. At least we don't walk away empty handed. We gain something, if only knowledge. Life, though hard most times, is beautiful and inspirational though admittedly challenging ; all the twists, turns, the uncertainty so often come to something we never expected, something to lighten our heart and bless us with understanding after a long struggle.
Over the past couple of months I've realized I've lost myself, again. I've become reclusive and withdrawn with that realization. I've allowed far too many outside sources to drain me of my optimism, my hope in others, my faith in the goodness of people, my trust, and belief in the best. In my reclusiveness, I've been traveling over what has brought me to the point where I stand now, wondering where I go from here to get back to the ridiculously happy, confident, bouncy person I was three years ago all without crushing my ideals and morals. Were I the only one involved, I know without a doubt what the answer would be, but when there is an internal struggle between ideals, morals, and knowing the uncertain outcome will effect those dearest to your heart to whom you want to cause no pain, what do you do then?
Over the past couple of months I've realized I've lost myself, again. I've become reclusive and withdrawn with that realization. I've allowed far too many outside sources to drain me of my optimism, my hope in others, my faith in the goodness of people, my trust, and belief in the best. In my reclusiveness, I've been traveling over what has brought me to the point where I stand now, wondering where I go from here to get back to the ridiculously happy, confident, bouncy person I was three years ago all without crushing my ideals and morals. Were I the only one involved, I know without a doubt what the answer would be, but when there is an internal struggle between ideals, morals, and knowing the uncertain outcome will effect those dearest to your heart to whom you want to cause no pain, what do you do then?
I intend to keep seeking the answer to the last question as I try to find my way back to myself. It will more than likely include time to myself that I find so rarely these days, but I know in the end I will find it or it will find me.
Past the struggles, the pain, the uncertainty, above all doubt, keep faith, hope, and a bright outlook on life. Though it isn't always easy it certainly helps.
